5-Things To Keep From Becoming The Crazy Ex
We’ve all heard stories of how people who were once loving and sweet, transformed into the crazy ex after being dumped. This subject has provided great material for books, movies, and comedies, like the TV series, My Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. This version is a musical and a comedy all rolled into one. I have to admit I enjoyed it, and even found myself laughing out loud. As I was thinking about the ridiculous things the main character did to get noticed, and the elaborate schemes she spent her time on, manipulating those around her to get what she thought she wanted… I had an epiphany!
We have all been the ex-something!
I am an ex-friend to several people, who I believed would always be there for me. I am an ex-business owner, of a business I loved. I am an ex-participant of a mission outreach, that my heart beat for. I am an ex-soccer mom, ex-homeschool mom and mother of teenage sons. I am an ex-granddaughter, since my grandparents are now resting in the arms of Jesus. I miss so many of these things. The process of becoming the “ex” was fought with tears, grief, and anger. The physical void each of these created, along with the sense of loss, is enough to create a perfect whirlwind of topsy-turvy emotions; a reason to act a bit crazy. But we don’t need to be the CRAZY EX!
1. FACE THE FACTS
Honesty Check vs. Delusional Deception- When life sends you lemons, or throws you a curve ball, let it serve as a bright, flashing, warning signal to slam on your breaks, accept reality and adjust. Lying to yourself, and creating a fantasy world of your own making is a counterfeit to true happiness. Acceptance is a power we possess. Here’s an example of how lying to yourself makes you delusional - Gaston proposes to Belle.
2. SHOW SOME RESPECT
Responding with Respect vs. Cut Down Reactions- Respect yourself during times of rejection and grief by not talking down to yourself. It is wise to know when to treat ourselves with gentleness. When we are feeling emotionally undone is the best time! Use the power of your words for health and encouragement, both for you and those around you. Peppermint Patty reminds us not to lash out with cut downs, in this short clip from There’s No Time For Love, Charlie Brown.
3. DEMONSTRATE THE GRACE OF SELF-CONTROL
Extending Grace vs. Reacting in Anger- The way we respond to others speaks more about us than it does about them. If you have a short fuse, or try to control the outcome of everything and everyone, you’ll find negative emotions to be your constant companion. A humorous example of practicing the grace of self-control is in this Donald Duck video clip from 1938.
4. JUST LET IT GO
The Honor of Letting Go vs. Holding On With a White Knuckle Grip- You can’t demand honor, it’s something you give. There is strength and power in honor. For your own sake, release whatever you’re holding onto. Transfer dashed hopes, resentment, anger, hurt, disappointments, and even people you need to release (in your heart) into the capable hands of God the Father. Let the power of these lyrics in Let It Go, from the movie Frozen, inspire you.
5. MOVE ALONG
Moving On vs. Stuck in a Holding Pattern- Position yourself for more, by letting go of the negative that’s holding you captive. It will give you the ability you need to put one foot in front of the other, and move on with your life. Pinocchio gives a good visual of cutting the stings holding you back in his song, I Got No Strings.
This is a great start! God has more grace to give & has the ability to heal your heart. If you still are unable to move on, check out Journey to Wholeness booklets, a series for personal freedom by Dick Sorenson.
Keeping myself from becoming the crazy ex…
Tami Sorenson Gaupp